I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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