big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
