It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
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