and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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