So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
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Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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