I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize