Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I can't put those talents on a resume
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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