Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
