Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
