I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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