I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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