The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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