third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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