All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
