id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I want her autograph on my taint
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
