i was born a porn star she said
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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