Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
