Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
