I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
