Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
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