Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize