just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
