I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
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