he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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