doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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