Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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