watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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