So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
