is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
