All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I think people are normalizing furries
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
