Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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