when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
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were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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