D3 body, D1 cock
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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