Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
