How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
