the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
