I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
