I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
