I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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