3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
