the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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