At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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