im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
