i need an iv and a liver transplant
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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