She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You are a genius and a whore.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
