bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
