Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
