we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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