He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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