You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
