Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
