508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
