last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Houston, we have a blender
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
