porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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