Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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