is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
