Where did you get a picture of my penis
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
