i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
He passed out mid-signature
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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