alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
