the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
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