His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
