and you said cock pushups were impossible
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
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I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
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The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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