when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
