you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
